Benefits Of Premarital Counseling

I'm Dr. Mark Riley, retired pastor and now executive director of SoulCare Counseling. I wrote the curriculum for the premarital counseling we do at SoulCare. I titled it “M-Powered” because that is the purpose of premarital counseling, to empower your marriage. Be aware that, as a Christian counseling center, our premarital counseling is biblically based. Since God created marriage, the best empowerment for marriage comes from His Word. In the course of our 8-weeks together, there are 7 marriage empowerments that we will give you seven benefits.

Seven Benefits Of Premarital Counseling:

1. We’ll help you discover your similarities and differences

We’ll begin with a questionnaire where you’ll discover things about one another that are similar, but you’ll also find some differences that may surprise you. These are things that include your expectations of marriage and what it means to be a partner. It is important to learn what your future spouse believes about marriage and your roles in marriage now rather than later. You will want to talk about these differences as you move toward your wedding date.

2. We’ll talk about marriage myths versus marriage realities

Romantic TV shows and movies have given Americans many myths about marriage that simply don’t stand up to reality. We will look at some of these notions about marriage that need rethinking. We will also look at what God’s word says about marriage and how husbands and wives are to be with one another.

3. We’ll discuss money management

Money misused and mismanaged is one of the two biggest killers of marriages. To help you prevent future financial fights, we’ll talk in-depth about money. We’ll look at your financial story, financial history, and financial goals. We’ll also give you practical tools for managing your money and getting out of debt.

4. We’ll speak about sex and family

The number one biggest killer of marriage is misused sex. Sex has the power to bring a couple closer in a special kind of intimacy that is like relationship glue. But if it is misused, it has the power to destroy your family and your lives like nothing else can. We will look at what the Bible teaches about sex and marriage so that you can enjoy this very special gift that God gave to bring you joy and intimacy for a lifetime. And, since sex leads to children, we’ll talk about family from your babies to your in-laws.

5. We’ll talk about talking

Have you ever watched a movie or TV show where, if the man and woman would have just talked to one another openly and truthfully, none of the bad things that happened would have happened? Even though you’ve been talking since you were about 2 years old, learning to communicate with your husband or wife is something you can’t take for granted. We’ll give you some tools for healthy communication.

6. We’ll learn how to resolve conflict

It’s inevitable that you will have conflict in your marriage. It’s unavoidable. The issue isn’t how to keep from fighting, but how to do it right. You must learn to apologize, forgive, repair, and reconnect. A healthy couple isn’t one who never has conflict, but one who is able to repair and reconnect after conflict.

7. We’ll discover how love goes wrong

It’s one thing to have conflict once in a while. That’s normal. But many couples fall into a destructive cycle of conflict that causes them to become disconnected. We call this the “negative cycle” and more than sex or money, the negative cycle is the enemy and killer of marriages. We’ll talk about what the negative cycle is, how to recognize it, and how to end it.