Kids crave constant activity. Sometimes parents become overwhelmed trying to keep them busy. In this age of technology, many parents let the mobile device, tablet, computer, game console, or other screens be babysitters to keep their kids occupied.  But we’re finding out that too much screen time can be harmful for children.  So, here are 3 reasons to limit your child’s screen time. 

Reason #1 To Limit Children’s Screen Time: It’s Electronic Cocaine.

In our modern age, electronic devices and screens are everywhere in the home and easily accessible by any member of the family.  And they do have their uses, but it is easy to depend on them too much, especially when it comes to entertaining our kids.  When they are bored and out of control, it’s easier to send them to their tablet or say, “Get your tablet,” or “Play something on your Nintendo Switch” than it is to take a trip to the park or library.  But researchers are learning a very strong reason to limit children’s screen time: too much screen time is turning children in digital junkies.  

Dr. Peter Whybrow, the Director of Neuroscience at UCLA calls screen technology “electronic cocaine.”  Brain scans show a child’s brain on Minecraft looks the same as a brain on drugs.  Hundreds of clinical studies indicate that too much screen time in children increases depression, anxiety, aggression, and even psychosis where the screen user loses touch with reality.  This is because, like drugs, screen usage affects the frontal cortex of the brain, which controls logic, reasoning, problem-solving, morals, and impulse regulation.  It is easy for a child to become addicted to the feel-good chemical dopamine that is released during screen time, so that withdrawal symptoms occur in the absence of that stimulation. 

Reason #2 To Limit Children’s Screen Time: Cyberbullying

One of the things that children and especially teens spend their screen time on is social media.  They are deluged with messages on what they should look like, the way should dress, how they should talk, act, relate to their parents, and what they should believe in order to be accepted.  When they are unable to conform to these messages, it causes depression and low self-esteem.  

It also leads to cyberbullying.  Before computers and cell phones, kids were bullied at school, but they got a break from it during summer break.  And often, with a summer of growth and some new self-confidence, they were able to come back in the Fall more prepared to handle the bullies.  But social media does not take a summer break.  Cyberbullying through texts, chats, and social media posts is non-stop.  The result is a dramatic increase in anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide among children.  Obviously, this is another powerful reason to limit children’s screen time. 

Reason #3 To Limit Children’s Screen Time: They need connection

The good news is that the power of genuine connection can break the hold of counterfeit connection.  Basically, what children are seeking in their electronic screens is connection.  We all seek connection above all else.  This is because God created us for connection with others.  After He created Adam, something was wrong and God pinpointed it for Adam and all of Adam’s race: “It is not good that man should be alone.”  So, God created a partner.  That is the number one driving need of every human, child or adult: to be in a close relationship with another human being.  But for every good gift of God, there is a counterfeit that promises (and fails) to meet our deepest needs.  Today, it is the screen.  The screen is a counterfeit connection that does not and cannot meet the need for genuine human connection.  In fact, the screen actually causes disconnection.  We’ve all seen it: the kid surrounded by people but buried in his or her screen, totally cut off from human connection. 

But I said there is good news, and here it is: studies shows that when a child receives affection and positive attention/interaction from a parent, a chemical in the brain called oxytocin is released that makes them feel connected, safe and secure. This is what your child is seeking.  They don’t know it, but it is.  The screen can’t give it to them, but you can.  And the more bonding experiences and the resultant positive emotions of warmth, acceptance, safety, and security there are, the higher the self-esteem, desire to communicate, and seeking of further and deeper interactions.  Also, psychological and behavioral problems such as anxiety, depression, self-harm, aggression, acting out, etc. are reduced. 

It is worth it to limit your child’s screen time to strengthen your connections with your children.  Leave the screens behind and go on trips, adventures around town, and intentionally talk, hug, smile, laugh, and invest emotionally in your children.  You will find that they come to desire genuine connection more than the counterfeit connection they have had. 

If you have issues with your children’s screen time or any other issue, I highly recommend that you read more about family therapy.  Your child is not an island; he or she is part of a family system, and what affects one part of that system affects the whole system, and what affects the whole system affects each part of the system.  You can reach out to us today to schedule a free thirty-minute consultation to discuss whether family therapy is right for you. 

Kelly Heard is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist - Associate under the supervision of Shaun Burrow, Ph.D., LMFT - Supervisor and LPC - Supervisor.  She holds a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.