My Child Needs Counseling

I’ll admit it: I am technologically challenged. When my cell phone or computer starts acting up, my only move is to restart it. If that fails, I take it to a repair shop where an expert does what needs to be done. When I pick it up, it works like it should.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could do that with our children?

I regularly get phone calls that begin with, “My child needs counseling.” Usually, the parent is hoping a counselor can "fix" their child. But 99.9% of the time, it isn’t the child who needs isolated fixing—it’s the family system that needs attention.

If the Flower is Unhealthy, Tend the Flower Bed

I once heard a wise counselor say that. Our children are not isolated; they are insulated. They are surrounded by a larger system—family, friendships, school, and church. Any distress or change we see in a child has taken place within that system. Therefore, for real, lasting change to occur, counseling must address the child’s most impactful relationships.

For any child, the #1 most impactful relationship is their family system.

The Power of Emotionally Focused Family Therapy

If your child is in pain, the most effective way out of that pain is to work with the family unit. While the whole family may not be in every session, significant progress requires the child’s major relationships to be present.

Through research in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we know that common "problem" behaviors are actually symptoms of disconnection:

• Anger and arguing

• Rebellion and fighting

• Sadness or pulling away

Changing the Environment to Change the Behavior

Healing doesn't come from correcting a child's behavior in a vacuum. It comes through repair and reconnection.

In family therapy, we help members understand the root of their disconnection. We teach you how to communicate your deepest needs in ways that will be warmly received. Once that happens, strong, secure attachment bonds re-form, and the problematic behaviors naturally change as a result.

Schedule a Free Family Therapy Consultation

If you are ready to help your child by strengthening your family system, we are here to help. At SoulCare Counseling, we provide a safe space to "tend the flower bed" and restore peace to your home. I encourage you to read more about family therapy, and then reach out to us at SoulCare Counseling for a free thirty-minute consultation.