Robbed By Trauma

One of my favorite authors is Brené Brown, who writes and speaks extensively on the subject of shame. In her book, Rising Strong, she deals with the issue of trauma. She says, “Of all the things trauma takes away from us, the worst is our willingness, or even our ability, to be vulnerable.” That is a huge loss because without the ability to be vulnerable, it is impossible to live a happy, healthy life because we can’t connect in a healthy way with others. As a result, trauma survivors often go from one abusive relationship to another. Trauma truly is a robber.

You may think of trauma as something that only war veterans or victims or rape or child abuse have. The fact is that the majority of Americans have experienced trauma of some kind. According to the National Council for Behavioral Health, a whopping 70% of adults in the US have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives. Trauma is caused by exposure to extreme one-time or long-term experiences in relationships. Excluding trauma from natural disasters, trauma is always caused in relationships. In relationships, there can be emotional neglect, physical neglect, mental abuse, sexual abuse, instability, lack of safety, separation, abandonment, or violence.

These experiences rewire the brain, sometimes even causing brain damage. Trauma changes the brain from thinking that the world as good to thinking that the world is unsafe. You become unable to trust others. You have thoughts you can’t shut off. You can’t let go of memories or events. You’re unable to focus. You feel confused. You experience anxiety and fear. You have mood swings. You feel guilt and shame. You blame yourself. You withdraw and disconnect. You’re tired, unable to sleep or you sleep too much. You’re edgy and anxious or you’re numb.

When a person undergoes a trauma, they go into survival mode, which initially is good. But Michele Rosenthal, who wrote Heal Your PTSD and Your Life After Trauma, said “Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live.”

The good news is that, because trauma is almost always related to a relationship wound, Emotionally Focused Therapy has proven a very effective model for resolving the effects of trauma. You can have a more fulfilling life, healthy relationships, more restful sleep, less fatigue, stable moods, less fatigue, and more joy in life.

Let us help you have the life you want and deserve. Call or text 817-808-2606, or email info@soulcarecounselingdfw.com to schedule a free thirty-minute consultation with one of our counselors and learn how you can get back what trauma has robbed.