Do You Need A Weekend Couples Intensive?
SoulCare Counseling offers a special marriage counseling experience called The Weekend Couples Intensive. It’s 2-3 weekend days of intense counseling with Emotionally Focused Therapy. I love leading them. Couples see more results in those two or three days than they would over months of weekly counseling. It’s like couples counseling on steroids! If you want to jump-start your reconnection as a couple, this is it.
Is a couples weekend intensive right for you? Probably so, but here are some things to consider as think and talk about it.
Two Indications That You Need A Weekend Couples Intensive
When couples come to us for couples counseling, their relationship is almost always in one of two conditions:
In crisis
Statistics show that couples often wait six years before finally deciding to seek help. By that time, little irritations that a few weeks in therapy would have solved have now become gaping wounds that require intensive care. Often a crisis has occurred such as an affair, a separation, or a threat of divorce. The couple are in need of a relationship E.R., which is just what the weekend couples intensive can provide.
In distress
If a couple is not in crisis, they are usually in distress. They have become disconnected and are trapped in a negative cycle of blaming and withdrawing. They don’t know how to break the cycle and get back to the close, loving relationship that they both long for.
If your relationship is in crisis or in distress, the couples weekend intensive is the prescription. If you’re in crisis, it’s like a relationship E.R. If you’re in distress, it’s just what the doctor ordered.
The Difference In A Weekend Couples Intensive
And Weekly Couples Counseling
One of the things that makes a weekend couples intensive different from traditional week-to-week counseling is that instead of getting small doses of therapy for fifty minutes once a week, you get a big dose of therapy for a weekend without distractions or waiting a week to continue working on your relationship. Think about it, in weekly couples counseling you get 50 minutes of therapy and when your time is up, you return to your daily routine for the other 167 hours of the week.
But in a weekend couples intensive, we take you out of the routine for thirteen or more hours over one weekend of total focus on your relationship. In that weekend, you zero in on your issues and resolve them without the tyranny of the ticking clock counting down your 50 minutes.
“Can we do a weekend couples intensive this weekend?”
Sometimes couples are in crisis or distress so much that they ask, “Can we do the weekend couples intensive right away, like this weekend?” Even if this weekend was free on the calendar, which is rare, there are three pre-intensive intake sessions that must be completed first so that we can focus strictly on relationship work during the weekend. There is one couple intake, one intake with the husband, and one intake with the wife. These provides the counselor with a relationship history and a basic familiarity with each of you and the relationship, which is vital to the therapeutic work.
So, your weekend couples intensive will be scheduled to allow for those intake sessions (which are included in the fee, by the way). This means your weekend will usually be scheduled a month or more out.
If you are in crisis and absolutely must see a therapist right now (which sometimes is the case), you can go ahead and schedule your couples intensive and do weekly couples counseling in the meantime. Regular weekly couples counseling is separate from the weekend intensive fee, however.
A Weekend Couples Intensive
Puts Your Relationship In The Spotlight
Most people believe that marriage counseling is about them and they will be under the spotlight. Actually, the spotlight will not be on you as a husband or you as a wife. The spotlight will be on your relationship and specifically on the thing that is causing the disconnection in your relationship. Let me say this loud and clear: neither one of you are the problem or the bad guy. If you are worried that you or your partner will be blamed and the counselor will try to "fix” you or your partner, that won’t happen. You are not the problem. You are the creators and victims of the thing that is your problem: your negative cycle. You get caught up in a vortex of conflict and disconnection that you can’t control, one that escalates and takes on a life of its own and leaves you both hurt and confused. We will focus on your negative cycle of disconnection and learn how to break it and reconnect.
Are You Ready To Change Your Life
With A Weekend Couples Intensive?
The weekend couples intensive is a life-changing, relationship-changing experience. But maybe you don’t need it and shouldn’t do it. If you’re happy with your relationship the way it is, don’t do one. If you want to stay in crisis or in distress, don’t do one. If you want to do week-to-week counseling for months or years, don’t do one.
I’m being facetious, of course. The weekend is wonderful and powerful. I’ve never had a couple that left the weekend without becoming more engaged with one another, more connected, and more hopeful. That doesn’t mean that there still won’t be some follow-up work to do, but you will be miles down the road.
There is nothing more important in your life than your relationship with God and then your relationship with your husband/wife and family. Those relationships shape your whole life. I urge you to invest in taking a giant leap in your marriage relationship by reading about the couples intensives, and then reaching out to us at SoulCare Counseling to schedule your weekend.
Dr. Bernis Riley holds a Doctor of Psychology degree, is a Licensed Professional Counselor – Supervisor, and is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy. She is the Clinical Director/Supervisor at SoulCare Counseling, and is currently accepting new clients.
