One of the top things that people never say is, “What I like most about you is that you’re a control freak.” We are drawn to people who are in control, but we are repelled by people who are controlling. 

What if the protectiveness and concern that you thought your partner was showing is actually coercive control?  Here are 5 signs that you are in a controlling relationship that needs help:

Your relationship started with an explosion of emotion and “lovin’ feelings,” but somewhere along the line the lost that spark and you don’t know how to get it back.  The good news is that it is possible to rekindle the spark in your relationship.  But first, let’s understand what that spark is.

You seek, you prod, you plead, you poke, you push, you have “come to Jesus” meetings, but the more you do, the more your partner shuts down and withdraws. How can you help your emotionally unavailable partner to come out of that shell?

What is the core need that every person on earth has, the one thing that we crave from our partner above all else?  What is essential to a healthy relationship like oxygen is to life?

If you have had thoughts of divorce recently about your own marriage, there is some good news.  While those thoughts do signal that your marriage has problems, they can also be a strong motivator to do something about those problems and take the necessary steps to save your marriage.

Here are seven relationship skills that you and your partner can learn to build that strong, loving, supportive relationship you each seek.

No one in a relationship wants it to fail.  Obviously, couples want their relationship to work and last a lifetime.  But how?  What is the secret to making a relationship work?  It clearly doesn’t happen all by itself just because they love each other.  What are the relationship skills that make a relationship work for life?

If you are new to the term “Emotionally Focused Therapy” and doing some research on what it is and how it works, there is no doubt but you’re wondering, “What happens in the Emotionally Focused Therapy counseling sessions?”  That’s a great question.  Let me break it down so you can know what to expect.

In an ever-escalating cycle of conflict, one partner stridently pursues and the other partner avoidantly withdraws. It’s a script written in the subconscious mind by past experiences that when certain things happen, we are not safe and must either push in or pull away to find safety.  This “push-pull” is at the heart of all relational conflict.  To break that cycle of conflict, first you must understand your role in it.  You are either the pursuer or the withdrawer.

While it is a temptation to let the plethora of technology occupy children, we’re finding out that too much screen time on TV, computer, cell phone, tablet, game console, etc. can be harmful for children.  Here are three good reasons to limit children’s screen time.

The couples I see in marriage counseling have one dance and it’s all they know.  I call it “The Dance of Disconnection.”  But using Emotionally Focused Therapy, I have taught hundreds of couples a new dance, “The Dance Of Connection.”  And you can learn it too.

What if there was a way to accomplish in 2-3 days what normally takes months of week-to-week marriage counseling?  If your schedule makes weekly couple counseling difficult, or if you want to get in a better place quickly, I have good news: SoulCare offers a private weekend marriage counseling intensive. 

Emotionally Focused Therapy is designed to restore the family bond by addressing the attachment needs at its core.  When your family comes to family therapy with an EFT therapist, here is what will and won’t take place.

If you have been through a traumatic event like a bad accident, a natural disaster, a violent attack, or combat, sometime after the event you are probably experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.  After trying to manage it yourself, you have now come to realize that you need professional help.  the good news is that SoulCare Counseling uses a model of therapy that is especially effective with PTSD.

Sometimes we intend to, sometimes we don’t; sometimes the injuries are small like emotional paper cuts and heal quickly, sometimes the wounds fester and stay open for years.  The latter type of injury is the subject of this blog, injuries to the level of trust between two partners. Therapists call these type of injuries “attachment injuries.”  What is an attachment injury and how can it be repaired?

The research on EFT is impressive.  90% of couples who go through EFT significantly improve their relationship and 70-75% move out of relationships distress after treatment.  Compare that to the next leading couples therapy at a 35% success rate.  So, doing couples counseling with a counselor trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy gives your relationship a huge advantage, but here are some tips for getting the most out of the EFT process.

You are married, yet you feel alone both physically and emotionally.  You and your spouse are gone from sunup to sundown.  When you are both at home, you eat dinner while watching television.  On the weekends, one of you goes to the mall and the other goes to the golf course.  You are together all alone.  This is not what you signed up for when you said “I do.”  What happened?

Holiday stress comes from a variety of sources such as gift-giving, travel, and overeating.  But one of the most common stressors during the holidays is family drama.   Perhaps because we are already stressed by the other factors, we tend to be more sensitive to the things that family members can do that set us off.   So, here are four tips for managing family stress during the holidays.

Although some dementia is caused by genetics, it might surprise you to learn that the majority of dementia is not. Depending on the cause, some dementia symptoms can be slowed or stopped. Here are some lifestyle changes you can make with the start of this new year to reduce your risk of dementia.