Most counseling models have several focuses such as probing past relationships and experiences, teaching communication techniques and negotiation skills, seeking solutions for problems, etc. In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we only have one focus: emotion.

If you’ve ever been stuck, you know that helpless, hopeless feeling of trying everything and nothing works. There’s no way to get yourself out. But what if it’s not your car that’s stuck? What if it’s your relationship?

One of the most common treatments for trauma is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is about changing behavior through changing cognition (thinking). The CBT therapist uses a method that questions the client’s flawed thoughts and emotions, seeking to help the client correct his/her cognition, which in turn will correct his/her behavior.

We need closeness and belonging as much as we need food and water. When our brain perceives that a primary relationship is in danger, it goes into overdrive to save it and triggers the attachment style we learned as children. The problem is that only one attachment style is healthy; the others, ironically, are destructive to the relationship they are employed by the brain to save.

Depression is debilitating for an individual who suffers with it, but it is also debilitating for a marriage. When one partner suffers through their darkness in isolation, too fearful or ashamed to share that pain with the other partner, the result is distance, disconnection, and conflict

Everyone knows about postpartum depression. It is a serious problem. But people are not as aware of a possibly more common problem, postpartum anxiety. A study out of Canada, published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, shows that perinatal anxiety may be more prevalent than postpartum depression.

I am a big fan of the Seinfeld TV show. The character of George Costanza, as Jerry says, needs a team of therapists working on him around the clock. One of his issues is social anxiety, but he inadvertently stumbles upon the solution in the following exchange.

Marriage can be the best and it can be the worst. It all depends on the nature of the couple’s attachment. When a couple is securely attached, marriage is the best; but when they are insecurely attached, it is the worst.

The beauty of Emotionally Focused Therapy, the therapy model we practice at SoulCare Counseling, is that it is based on the science of the brain. We know how to the brain responds to distress. Regardless of culture, race, gender, age, or any other factor, all human beings react the same way.

“Of all the things trauma takes away from us, the worst is our willingness, or even our ability, to be vulnerable.” That is a huge loss because without the ability to be vulnerable, it is impossible to live a happy, healthy life because we can’t connect in a healthy way with others.

No one is exempt from emotional scars. If you went through a traumatic experience in your childhood, those scars can be particularly painful as an adult

As a retired pastor looking back over my forty-four years pastoring six churches, there were times of great joy and satisfaction but there were also times of deep depression.

Whenever I receive a call requesting family therapy, I know it took courage for the family to make such a decision. While I know that Emotionally Focused Therapy is very effective for helping families move out of distress and into connection, I also know that people tend to resist family therapy